A Fish or a Dozen Eggs

I really should not be spending time sitting here right now. There are a million big and little things to do.  It’s spring already and the list of gotta do’s is painfully long. But I just remembered something. And I don’t know where to put this memory.  So I’m writing it down. We are right […]

Fox in a Hole

Something has been on my mind for a while. Actually, I was conscious of it when my son died.  No…the days leading up to his death, too.  But, from his first day in that ICU and up until the day he was buried, I saw what I now understand in action. I’ve always had pretty […]

The Rooster Crows

I love to meditate. Well, let’s just say the “love” part is true.  The “I meditate” is questionable. These days anyway. Once upon a time (in a land far, far away from traumatic loss and grief),  I woke up every morning and sat in a worn out wicker chair that I consider my Sacred Space.  […]

The Road Ahead

It’s time to get on the road again. Yes, it is.  Time to sit in the driver’s seat, put the car in drive, and set out on the highway of this life. See where the road takes me. I pray my car doesn’t stall.  Because if it does, I just might change my mind.  Put it […]

Resurrection

I heard the sound as if it was a ricocheted bullet rebounding from some far away target.  Bouncing back with a loud, deafening reverberation.  The echo of it roaring through my head in wave upon wave. I wanted to cover my ears with my hands, bury my head, and curl up like a fetus to […]

Auld Lang Syne

Another Christmas has come and gone. I made it through. Everything Christmas past is packed up and stowed away. Resting until this year flies by with lightening speed and I will again take out those boxes and say right out loud: “Hey, didn’t I just do this?  Doesn’t is seem like yesterday that I took […]

Surrendered

What else is there to do? What else can be done when the battle seems lost and the threat of destruction closes in from all directions like the wave of ten thousand soldiers marching in for the kill? Hard pressed on every side. Perplexed. It’s the specific time when it seems the bitter end. I’ve […]

The Thing About Writing

The thing about writing is that I put myself out there.  And what I mean by “out there” is heart on my sleeve, neck on the line, and often dangling from a limb. Being transparent is risky. The subject matter of my life right now is unpleasant. Deep. Raw. Painful. Who wants to talk about […]

Drug of Choice

I would like to tell you that I am health conscious and eat for health and life. I can be and do that. In fact, several years ago I dove head first into paring down my diet, cleaned it all up, and was feeling better than ever before. It’s amazing how food manipulates a body, […]

Netflix Numb and YouTube Trance

How does one find reprieve? What can be done when the mind won’t stop, and the feelings of intense grief continues to rise and crash to the surface and threaten to rub its concentrated saltiness into already stripped and peeled off skin? What can be done to redirect those thoughts and feelings or simply stall […]